I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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