I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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