A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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