I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
