i can't believe i had my finger in that
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
