It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm sobbing to NWA
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
