Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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