Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize