he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
