textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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