i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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