her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
