I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
