just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
