Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
