So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
