Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
