Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
