i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
