He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
