a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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