So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
