Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
