last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
