Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
