But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
