oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
