Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
