Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
