Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I won the penis lottery.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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