So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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