I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
