not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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