Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
