just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
