Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
