So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
