3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
