It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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