I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
