The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
