Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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