she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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