Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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