She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize