Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
