I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
