Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
