we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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