You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
