i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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