All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize