She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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