Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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