im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
