Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
