I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
