If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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