i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
