So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize