Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
