why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
