Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
