well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
