hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My penis needs a shock collar
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
