Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Panties = found
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
