literally had 100 drinks last night.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize