He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
