She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
