I showed him my bush... on skype.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize